he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
