he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
