I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
