i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
