How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize