5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
