I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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