i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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