I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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