I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
