I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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