Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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