He kissed a someone with a penis
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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