whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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