Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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