ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
