remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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