just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
