i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm like, not good at living.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
