I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
