On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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