It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
