Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
