My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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