They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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