Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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