He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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