Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
