We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
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you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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