I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
