I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
