this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize