Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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