I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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