I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize