ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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