There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
