3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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