I should be sponsored by Trojan
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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