There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
