Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
