I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
