i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
