The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
