I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Randomize
