You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
