Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
