My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize