I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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