im having a threesome with these popsicles
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
