you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
