he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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