I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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