Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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