We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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