I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize