Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
