Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
